OUTCOME - noun - the way a thing turns out; a consequence.

We have finally concluded our lemonade stands for 2024! And although we had much fewer stand hosts this year, I'm so pleased to announce that thanks to so many generous donors, some of which donated large amounts anonymously, Write With Light Project will be donating $27,743.57 to the Fontan Go Clinic at Texas Children's Hospital!

This clinic is still so young, and one of the first in the world to specialize in the care of people living with a Fontan. This means that as Sunley grows, she (and anyone else living with half of a heart) will be seeing not only their cardiologist, but a whole team of experts already familiar with her heart condition. Her liver doctor will know about Fontans BEFORE Sunley walks in the room, as well as her nutritionist, her exercise therapist, her psychologist, etc – The Fontan Go Clinic is aiming to improve care for the whole person; not just the heart organ.

This clinic didn't exist when she was born – we heard whispers of it, as a passion project for a few doctors. But it had no funding. Because of you, our selfless lemonade stand hosts and donors, Sunley's future looks just a little sweeter. In fact, she already had her first Fontan Go appointment back in March! I'm not sure if I was more excited about the medical care or the EASE OF SCHEDULING: I made ONE phone call and the team set up all her appointments to run seamlessly through a few different specialists in 2 days. And all the medical mamas say HALLELUJAH. That's not how it usually goes when you need multiple teams to talk to each other.

So, the outcome for this year's lemonade stand exceeded our expectations. Sunley's outcome of thriving at 6 years old has exceeded our expectations. A very natural and understandable question I get frequently when someone learns about Sunley’s past is, “Well, so how is she now?” They are asking, what is her outcome? How did the story end? How did this thing turn out?

I never know how to fully answer, because the whole thing is too complicated and beautiful.

It's great when the outcome is better than you expect. I've seen every version of outcomes in the world of half hearts: some miraculous and some shocking and devastating….and everything between. In fact, it's hard not to get obsessed with good outcomes. And still, because we are humans with flesh-eyes, it feels like we need a solid, black and white answer for “good” and “bad” outcomes. Good, they live; Bad, they die. And yet, our family lives in the very colorful world in between the black and white. Spoiler alert: It’s better here. More rainbows.

As a heart parent, I do feel like it was my job to research which hospital had the “good” outcomes (the ones where babies lived), and which surgeon would be the best fit for her particular heart anatomy. We found the best place. We took our daughter there. And so far, her outcome is great. But her heart has not changed. Her diagnosis, her prognosis is still very grim. Which is why it's so important for me to have the daily – and I mean DAILY – spiritual practice of releasing her outcome, because it is already decided. Her outcome – my outcome – how the thing will turn out —It is victory. The battle was fought and won before she took her first labored breath, and before I spent my first day in a bedside chair. Victory isn’t just the big happy moments. It’s an altar built of every misshapen stone we’ve accumulated. We pile them together, the shiny and the rough, and only when you take a step back can you see the full pillar of victory.

Regardless of what happens in her body on earth, regardless of who buries who first, Sunley’s heart will be healed. Mine too. I know the Healer, and He loves to say yes to healing. My outcome will not be that Sunley lived. My outcome will not be that Sunley died. My outcome is, has always been, YESHUA. He IS the outcome. More than just He holds my outcome; He IS the outcome. Every step I've taken in the world of medical mothering has led me closer to Him. Every tear on my face, claw mark in my carpet, every deep and regulating breath at a stoplight – all of those places and moments have called Holy Spirit closer to me. He has pleaded on my behalf, when my body and my mouth had no more words to speak. He pleads still, and Elohim answers.

Sunley's earth-outcome so far has been excellent, by world’s standards. But my outcome is not dependent on hers. And her outcome is not dependent on the health of her body. Jesus doesn't just hold our outcomes. He IS the outcome. Our only path forward.

We root deeply and drink of living water. And when it is time, wherever He calls us to go, we rage forward as a flooded river of His ways.

MY GOD, how can You lift human feet to walk on water? Do You make the water so still, so empty of any broken part or ripple, that the surface tension is SO great that it can hold such heavy feet? Or is it that you are able to lighten me so much so that I sink not even through drops of water? I don't even know which would be more miraculous -- That You calm storms even down to the smallest ripple, or that You hold so many of my burdens that I weigh nothing at all. Both feel impossible, for the storm is too great, and my back too weighted down.

Only this I know: You are the true thing. I will follow You everywhere.

I will stand with You on the summit

I will walk with You through Your seas

I will lie in Your arms forever

Until my bones turn at last to seeds